


Twenty Questions

by ajaeprince



Category: Golden Child (Korea Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-21
Updated: 2018-01-21
Packaged: 2019-03-07 12:47:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13435023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ajaeprince/pseuds/ajaeprince
Summary: Drunk conversations





	Twenty Questions

“Don’t be mad at me,” Sungyoon says laughing. He is so drunk that he can barely open his eyes. Jaeseok is a little tipsy and laughing too.

“Why would I be mad?”

“When they said I had to share a room with you, I thought it would be so boring.”

Jaeseok frowns a little. Of course, it hurts. Sungyoon cannot see that though.

“But I was so wrong. You are actually so much fun.”

Jaeseok gets up and takes some towels from the closet. The words do not nurse his wound but he will bear it.

“I’m sorry. I just thought you were so… I don’t even know. But no matter. I was hella wrong.”

Jaeseok does not even hear Sungyoon anymore. He is more occupied with the towels in the sink. He goes back to Sungyoon whose limbs splayed across the bed. He gently pats Sungyoon’s face with the warm damp towel. Sungyoon is just smiling, eyes closed.

“I really like you so much more now.”

Jaeseok nods even though Sungyoon cannot see then he walks away.

When Jaeseok finishes cleaning himself up, Sungyoon is sitting upright on the bed. His eyes are wide open and he has a lopsided smile. It is a reserved smile only for certain situations — situations that upon imagining send shiver down Jaeseok’s spine even in the hot Thailand weather.

“Do you want to play a game?”

“Don’t you want to sleep?”

“Listen, we’re only here until tomorrow morning. It might take… I don’t know… a long time… before we can visit Bangkok again. Don’t you want to be a little crazy?”

“You’re already crazy. Besides, the managers will literally kill us if they catch us sneaking out.”

“Well, I’m bored,” Sungyoon whines.

“You can drink some more if you want. I don’t want to be hungover at the airport in the morning.”

“Let’s play a game!”

“What kind of game?”

“A drinking game! We take turns asking each other questions but if we don’t want to answer then we drink.”

“Doesn’t sound fun.”

“Jaeseok, my friend. You are too judgmental. Give it a shot.”

Sungyoon laughs. Jaeseok rolls his eyes. It has been years but the puns never stopped coming out of Sungyoon.

“Who goes first?” Jaeseok asks, already taking out a bottle of vodka.

“What’s that?” He asks, his eyes focusing on the label. “Vodka? That’s… What? Are we kids?”

“You’re already drunk. And shut up because you’re going to be more annoying tomorrow.”

“Jaeseok, that’s a hard blow. I thought you were nice. You were such a nice guy.” He even fakes a gasp.

“Ya! I’m going to sleep!”

“No, no, no! Let’s play,” he whines in a sing-song voice. Sungyoon is a little over three months older than Jaeseok but Jaeseok feels like he signed up to be a parent.

“Okay, fine.”

“Twenty questions each. No follow up questions. Make the question exciting.”

“Are you burning with curiosity or something? Suddenly, with that face—”

“Nope. I’m not. My turn.”

“That’s not my question!”

“Too late. If you were a girl, who would you date among us?”

“What? No, I won’t date any of you.”

Sungyoon clicks his tongue and pours a glass. “Here, drink.”

“I answered the question.”

“No, you refused to give a proper answer. So, it’s not an answer.”

Jaeseok takes the shot glass and downs it in one go. Sungyoon has a big smile. Normally, Sungyoon looks cute smiling but in this moment, it rubs Jaeseok the wrong way; the smile is almost too big for Sungyoon’s face.

“That was a lame question. Every fan asks that to every boy group.”

Sungyoon is still smiling. “No one has ever asked us that.”

“What’s your biggest fear?”

“So, we’re going to go that way.” It takes Sungyoon a while. Jaeseok readjusts his legs, spreads it to his right.

“I think I know what it is though.”

Sungyoon laughs. “Okay, guess.”

“You wonder if you’ve thrown away your life and you’re afraid the other way would’ve made you happier in the long run.”

“There is no other way,” Sungyoon says in a quiet voice. “There has been no other dream. No other thing, no other consideration… for me. I have always wanted this.” He looks at Jaeseok and says, “I fear myself. That I am nothing. I have left myself nothing without this life.”

“Sungyoon, I don’t know what to say to that.”

Sungyoon pours himself a glass and before Jaeseok can say anything, he downs it.

“Oops,” he says laughing. “I just needed that.”

“Your turn.”

“What do you think of me now?”

“I think you’re a—”

“Not the answer for the fans. What do you really think of me now?”

“I’ve always been honest. I treasure our friendship. I think of you as family now.”

Sungyoon looks closely at Jaeseok.

“Do you really think I’m boring?”

“No, not boring. I… I meant to say it would be awkward between us. But, there's something I need to confess to you. I think it’s my fault for having expectations. And that’s not because you’re a disappointment but it’s because you’re so handsome so you’re in that part of that uhh you know… you know when you have no expectations of someone because you think they’ve got it all.”

“I don’t get it. You think I’ve got it all.”

Sungyoon looks pained but he tries to explain. “You know when people are so interested in you the first time you walk into a room but after they’ve realized you’re not any more interesting than your face, they give up on you. I don’t know if you know that feeling because I’ve had that and you’re far more… handsome than me. You almost look unreal. But it sucks because I kind of did that to you.”

It is another blow to Jaeseok but his mouth feels loose and there is a part of him thinking that this will never happen again and he should just speak his mind.

“You’re not like that to me though. I’ve always admired how hard you work.”

“We all work hard. We all _have to_ work hard.”

“But you’ve been reaping the fruits of your hard labor now.”

“Not yet but you don’t know how much it means to me that you think I’m improving.” Sungyoon smiles. “Did you… Do you have experience?”

“You mean sex?”

“Yeah. You can get flustered over the little things but sometimes you’re surprisingly so bold with other things.”

“I don’t know. My mind’s clouded.”

“So, tell me. You had a girlfriend, right?”

“I can’t talk about it. Pour me a glass.”

“It’s embarrassing for me to ask too, fucker. I just… I didn’t have youth.”

“This is not something you talk about with another dude unless you’re a douchebag.”

“I’m not asking about what her pussy felt like. What the fuck?”

“Then what do you want to know?”

“Just, is it like what they say it to be?”

“I wouldn’t know.”

“Why?”

“No follow up questions,” Jaeseok echoes.

“So annoying.” Sungyoon curses as he pours Jaeseok a glass.

“Why don’t you get a girlfriend? Too scared?”

“Partly,” Sungyoon says pouring himself his own shot. “And partly because I feel bad for Daeyeol hyung. We’ve been in this so far back that those little rebellious things feel like they can become our undoing.”

“But the others—”

“They had girlfriends. It made him so upset and I understood so I could never...”

“Girls aren’t that great, anyway. At least… I think girls are better as friends. It’s hard to date when they can’t see past your face.”

“See, I’ve always felt like that. The girls who approach me are kind of… I don’t know. They’re never the girls who are my style.”

“What is your ideal girl?”

“Smart and thoughtful. Someone who would really care for me.”

“That’s…” Jaeseok pauses. A small smile is forming on his lips. “That’s such a mature answer but I shouldn’t be surprised.” Sungyoon snarls and Jaeseok gives a hearty laugh.

“You’re really mean. No one knows how mean you truly are.”

“I’m sorry. Kidding aside, that’s something that needs sifting by getting involved. It’s more than just looking around.”

“Yeah. The thing is though… I’ve never really fantasized about a girlfriend. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I want someone who will care for me but it’s not something I really, really want. You know, people have relationship in their goals but I don’t. I just like this — comfort and company. Am I weird? Wait... How many questions did you ask? I think I’m winning.”

“This is a contest?”

“It wouldn’t be fun if it wasn’t.”

“What is the prize?”

“Do whatever the winner asks.”

“How do I know I’m winning?”

“You don’t because I am.”

“Shut up and ask me a question, Sungyoon.”

Sungyoon whispers, wide eyed, holding up fingers to his face. Then, he says, “I get two. Have you ever been curious what it’s like being with a man?”

“Yes.”

“Who was it? Tell me more.”

“No follow up questions.”

“I get two questions. Tell me more,” Sungyoon whispers as he lies down on his stomach.

Jaeseok lies down on his back and suddenly it all feels different.

“You won’t remember this when you wake up anyway,” he says but it is more of a question. “It was in Japan. I just broke up with my girlfriend...”

“Wait… If this story is about Youngtaek, I literally don’t want to hear it. Please spare my respect.”

“What are you on? He’s like my little brother. What’s wrong with you?”

“Okay. Please continue. I’m sorry. I just had to make it clear.”

Jaeseok sighs. “It doesn’t matter. It’s over.”

“Tell me.”

“Talking about it with you feels weirdly intimate. I kind of feel uncomfortable.”

“Won’t you tell me? I thought I’m like family.”

“It’s like you’re asking me to get naked.”

“Maybe it’s like that. I want to get to know you.”

“You’re drunk.”

“I am.” Sungyoon laughs. “But I still want to know. If it’s really too sad then, forget it.”

“It’s not that he wasn’t important because we shared something too. But it feels like smoke to me. Or like a whisper.”

“How so?”

“If I say it aloud… If I let it out into the world, our secret will evaporate, swallowed up, mixed with other things. Too soon for me, I won’t even recognize it anymore. Like, it may take a life of its own. I don’t want that.”

“But you knew you that you were...”

“I was what?”

“You know… rather than girls...”

“I don’t know for sure what I felt. I don’t know for sure how I feel now. So, I tried even though I was a little scared. Because how would I know what I liked… at least if I tried, I’d have an idea.”

Sungyoon scoots closer and for a while he does not give a reply. Then, he says, “I think I know how that feels.”

“Why did you ask me that?”

“Because I’m curious right now.”

“Being with a man? Now? You mean—”

“Yeah.”

“You’re crazy.”

“Maybe I am. Is this okay?”

“What do you think?”

“That’s not how you play the game.”

“Are we still playing?”

His voice is low and quiet. “Do you still want us to play?”

“God, Sungyoon. Please. I don’t understand what we’re even talking about right now.”

“That’s how you make me feel. You keep dodging me. I’m just trying...”

“Do you like me?”

“Is that your question?”

“This is wrong though.”

Sungyoon turns to his side. He asks quietly, “Why is it wrong?”

“You know why.”

“It might be wrong to everybody else. But you asked it yourself. How do we know for sure? It feels… It feels... Honest to God, it feels right.”

Jaeseok does not answer.

“Maybe we can be like that, too,” Sungyoon whispers.

“I don’t want to do that to you.”

“But you talk about him like a precious fragile thing. I can feel that you still care.”

“I talk about the time with him like that because he’ll always hold that time in my life. But it’s all in the past now.”

“And me?”

“You’re… an important member in the group I’m in.”

“I’m someone who likes you and I’m someone you like too. Right now.”

That shuts Jaeseok up.

“I think I won.”

“I’ll sleep somewhere else.”

Sungyoon pulls Jaeseok just before he can escape the room. He hugs him tight.

“Jaeseok,” he whispers on the taller man’s skin. There is a sheen layer of sweat on Jaeseok’s neck but oddly enough, Sungyoon gravitates towards it.

His lips on Jaeseok’s skin surprises Jaeseok even more.

“How do you make a hickey?”

Jaeseok turns to him now — horrified. “What the fuck?”

Sungyoon laughs and it annoys Jaeseok even more. Before he can utter another word of protest though, Sungyoon kisses Jaeseok. Sungyoon holds him to tilt him down to his height.

At the back of Jaeseok’s mind, he knows it is wrong. He knows what is happening is crazy. But the voice of protest in his mind is faint. He likes the feeling of Sungyoon’s lips on his more and he wants to focus more on it.

He feels the uncertainty of Sungyoon’s advances and it blooms more feelings of fondness in Jaeseok’s heart. His hand reaches down to Sungyoon’s back; the other one holding Sungyoon’s cheek.

He knows it was he who slid in his tongue first because Sungyoon has no experience. But he really cannot remember things clearly. He is just vaguely aware that he wants this moment to last forever.

Sungyoon cannot stop his smile and it catches on to Jaeseok. For a second, they stop kissing. He looks at Sungyoon’s glassy eyes.

“We need to sleep,” Jaeseok says.

“I like you.”

“I know.”

“Will you...” but before he can finish his question, he falls asleep in Jaeseok’s arms.

Jaeseok is surprised but when he recovers, he laughs lightly. “What am I supposed to do with you?”


End file.
